Daughter on His Doorstep Read online

  “I get it.”

  “I’ve already lost so much.” There was an edge in his voice. “She doesn’t even know what to call me.”

  “What did you tell her?”

  “That I’d answer to Luke, Dad and almost anything except doofus or Pop.”

  “That’s a good response.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Absolutely. Humor and honesty. It will just take time.”

  He nodded. “I think with you there she’d relax and be more comfortable. If you accept me, she will.”

  Shelby had accepted him before and had her heart handed back to her. That’s not what he was talking about but she went there anyway. Just as a reminder to keep her eye on the goal.

  “Okay. I’m happy to help. On one condition.”

  His eyes narrowed. “And that is?”

  “You have to act as if you’re not mad at me. Kids notice everything and it won’t help you win her trust if she sees how you feel.”

  He thought about that. “I’ll do my best.”

  “Okay then.” For just a second she flashed back to a time when he’d been with her in this room and they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. “You know if things had gone differently, we might be married.”

  The idea popped into her head but she couldn’t believe she’d said it out loud. Apparently the man still made her mind turn to mush.

  Luke stared at her, looking more startled than anything. But, oddly, there was no anger. “Yeah. I’d say we dodged a bullet.”

  “Definitely.”

  He moved toward the open window. “So, we’ll come up with a plan. How we’re going to work together. Just so we’re clear, this isn’t personal.”

  “Of course.” She wondered why he felt the need to spell that out.

  “Being a dad to Emma has to be my focus.”

  “Why don’t we both come up with a list of ideas, things to do with her, and pick a few. See how it goes.”

  “Okay.” He went back out the window. “I’ll be in touch.”

  He replaced the screen and then he was gone. He was right, she thought. They had no connection anymore other than Emma. But how she wished that he didn’t have to pretend not to be mad at her. She wished he could forgive her. And if it wasn’t asking too much, she super wished that she could stop thinking about how hot and handsome he was.

  But she was wishing for the moon on every count.

  * * *

  “You’ve been staring at your computer screen for five minutes and haven’t typed in a thing. At this rate we’ll be here all night.”

  Luke looked at the man facing him in the Huntington Hills Police Department squad room across the two desks pushed up against each other. Lou Murphy, the detective he’d been partnered with, was staring back at him. The older man had known his dad and took Luke under his wing after the accident that killed his father. The guy looked like a gray-haired basset hound with his sad, droopy brown eyes. Hell of a good cop and Luke was lucky to be his partner, luckier still to be his friend.

  But the qualities that made him a top-notch detective told him something wasn’t right with Luke. He wouldn’t be able to blow this off.

  Luke looked around the busy room. There were officers in khaki uniforms with handcuffed suspects. Plainclothes detectives and clerical employees were answering phones. But for the moment he and Murph were clear.

  “You got a couple minutes for a coffee break?” he asked the other man.

  “Yeah.” Murph stood and headed to the break room where a pot of the world’s worst coffee was located. “I’ll buy.”

  That was his running joke. Everyone pitched in to share the cost of supplies. Unfortunately no one knew how to make a really good cup of coffee. Luke followed his mentor, friend and partner down the hall and into the empty room. He shut the door behind him.

  There was a cheap and cheesy little wooden table in the middle of the space, a few cupboards around the perimeter. A sink, small refrigerator and a drip coffee maker on the cracked laminate countertop. The pot was half-full and Murph poured two cups.

  He handed one over. “So, what’s up? Problems with your mom’s house?”

  “Only where it’s located.” Luke took a sip of the hot liquid and apologized to his stomach. It tasted like battery acid.

  Murph leaned back against the cupboard. “There’s nothing wrong with that neighborhood.”

  “Not the area, just the neighbors.” He might as well spill his guts. This guy would know if he was holding back. He really hoped he didn’t regret not doing that. “Shelby is there. Living with her mom.”

  “Shelby?” The other man frowned. “Isn’t that the girl you broke up with and then got drunk and disorderly over?”

  “Yeah.” Too late. He was already regretting saying anything.

  “You were a mess, kid. Going in the army was good for you. I knew it would be when I suggested it.” He took a sip of his coffee and made a face. “You’re welcome for that, by the way.”

  “I saw her one more time before I left for basic training.”

  “To say goodbye,” Murph guessed.

  “Yeah. I thought I owed it to her to let her know.”

  “Okay.” The man nodded thoughtfully. “So, have you seen her since you moved back into the house?”

  “Yeah.” He stared into the black circle of his coffee.

  “And?”

  “And she looks great.”

  “I’m not seeing the problem.” His partner’s expression was the one he wore when the facts and narrative didn’t match. “Is she married?”

  “No.”

  “Maybe you two could rekindle the flame—”

  “Not a chance,” Luke said.

  “Why? Could be the fact that you’re both single is a sign that—”

  “It’s not. Since when are you Murph the matchmaker?”

  The other man grinned. “Just saying... I remember it hit you pretty hard. The breakup. Why did you do it anyway?”

  “Her mother hated me. We were sneaking around and Shelby wouldn’t disobey her and see me openly.” She was a rule follower then and was raising Emma to be one now. “That got to me and I didn’t like what it was doing to her. If she’d been seeing someone different, someone better, she could have been up front about it. She deserved that. So I told her it was best if we didn’t see each other anymore.” And almost immediately he’d regretted the words. But he didn’t take them back. The next time he saw her was with another guy who picked her up at her house for a date. That was the night Luke got drunk. Fortunately it was Murph who arrested him.

  “Surely her mom doesn’t still feel that way.”

  “Yeah. She does.” Probably even more than she did then.

  “But you’re not kids anymore,” his friend said. “Shouldn’t her daughter decide—”

  “Let it go, Murph. It’s not going to happen.” Luke could see him getting ready to protest and he knew how to stop it. “Shelby was pregnant. She knew the last time I saw her that she was going to have my baby and didn’t say a word.”

  He didn’t often see his friend shocked speechless, but he was now. Luke filled in the silence. “I have a daughter. Emma. She’s nine years old and overheard Shelby and her mom talking about me being her father and she came over to ask me straight-out.”

  “Well, I’ll be...”

  Luke smiled at the memory of his daughter standing there on his doorstep. Since that day when he bought her fast food, she hadn’t shown as much spirit and was pretty subdued. He couldn’t say for sure but had a feeling that was out of character for her.

  “Luke, man, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “If I hadn’t mentioned the army and what it could do for you, things might have been different. But I could see you needed something.” The basset houn
d eyes were amped up to full power. “If you hadn’t gone, you’d have known about Emma—”

  “Don’t. That will make you crazy. Trust me, I know.” Luke took a sip of the now-cold coffee. “You didn’t push me into anything. No one could tell me what to do. You know that better than anyone.”

  “You were a stubborn son of a gun,” the other man agreed.

  “If it hadn’t felt right, I wouldn’t have enlisted.” Luke remembered that time and all the reasons his decision had made so much sense. “My mom was glad I was leaving. She always blamed me for the accident. If not for me, my dad would still be here.”

  “It wasn’t your fault, Luke. The other driver was speeding and ran a stop sign.”

  “Then maybe she blames me for surviving when he didn’t. I don’t know. But we could hardly be in the same room together without a fight.” He set his mug on the table. “Now I have to tell her she has a granddaughter she didn’t know about. Somehow that will be my fault, too.”

  “Well, for what it’s worth, you have to deal with what’s going on now, not the way things were then.” The other man shook his head. “Why didn’t Shelby tell you?”

  Luke told his partner every excuse she’d given him. “Her choice was to say nothing to me about the pregnancy or be on the street.”

  “It could be the truth.”

  “Right,” Luke said sarcastically. “And I’m going for a moon walk tomorrow.”

  “Okay. You don’t believe her. But keep this in mind. You’ve never been a pregnant seventeen-year-old girl. And if it’s true, the prospect of being thrown out of the house would be pretty scary. Just saying.” Murph shrugged. “So what about now? Is she agreeable to letting you see your daughter? Assuming you want to see her.”

  “Of course I do. And Shelby isn’t standing in the way. But Emma is a little skittish with me.”

  “That’s to be expected. You just have to give it time.”

  “That’s what everyone keeps telling me.” And he was sick of hearing it. He wanted results. Now. Otherwise he never would have made a deal with Shelby to hang out and speed up the process. He told Murph what they’d talked about last night when he climbed through her bedroom window.

  The older man looked a little skeptical. “So, let me get this straight. You agreed to spend time with this woman you don’t trust in order to get to know your daughter?”

  “Yeah. Why? What’s wrong with that.”

  “I don’t know.” Murph rubbed a hand over his neck. “I just think you could do it on your own.”

  “You haven’t seen the way Emma looks at me. Like I’m a stranger and she’s ready to split.” He wondered if he looked at Shelby that way because Murph was right. He didn’t trust her and never would.

  “Okay. Has Shelby brought up child support?”

  “No. She hasn’t mentioned it.” And Luke hadn’t thought about that. He should have, but the fact was that Shelby hadn’t asked him for anything. In the context of their new arrangement she’d asked only that he act as if he wasn’t mad at her.

  “Okay, I can see why you’ve been so distracted. It’s not every day a guy finds out he has a daughter.”

  “Something he should have found out nine years ago,” Luke reminded him.

  “That was then. This is now. Bottom line is that you have to figure out how to get along with her. For Emma’s sake.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Good luck with that.”

  “Seriously? That’s the best you can do?” Luke asked.

  “Pretty much.” Murph gave him a sympathetic look. “Wish I had some magic words, but I don’t. Just remember that you’re doing it for Emma.”

  “I’ll try.”

  What he didn’t mention to his partner was that part of him was looking forward a little bit to seeing Shelby. Climbing through her window had brought back memories, some of the best ones he’d ever had. He hated himself for remembering, but he couldn’t seem to stop.

  Chapter Five

  “This is going to be fun.”

  Shelby said the words to Emma but she didn’t believe them for a second. It was Saturday. She, Luke and Emma were going to a small carnival sponsored by the local parks and recreation department every year. There were rides, enough junk food to make kids happy and games to keep them entertained. After exchanging lists of activities, she and Luke put this one at the top, mostly because it was there for two weekends, then gone.

  Emma put on a pink hooded sweatshirt and frowned. “Does he have to come?”

  “By ‘he’ I assume you’re referring to your father.” Her child neither confirmed nor denied. She simply glared. “Yes, your dad has to come. He’s making an effort to get to know you and you should do him the same courtesy.” Making an effort to get to know you. Those are words Shelby had never thought she would say.

  Before Emma could refute that her grandmother walked from the kitchen to the entryway by the front door. “It looks like rain. Are you sure you want to go?”

  “I checked the weather report. It’s going to be fine,” Shelby said.

  On the father/daughter front the forecast was for sun and clouds with a chance of Luke making progress with Emma. Shelby’s job was to be a bridge and, by God, she was going to be the best doggone bridge anyone had ever seen.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to stay home with me, Em?” The woman was not happy about the whole bridge thing.

  “Mom, we talked about this.” Shelby gave her the back off look. “We’re going to have fun. Right, Emma?”

  The little girl shrugged. “I have to go, Grammy.”

  “Okay. Give me a hug, then.” Pam went down on one knee and held her granddaughter tight against her for a moment. “Stay warm. That wind is a little chilly.”

  Shelby grabbed her purse and jacket from the coat tree and opened the door. Luke was standing by his truck in the driveway next to theirs. “Let’s go. Your dad is waiting.”

  That sounded so weird. Your dad. Shelby wondered if it would ever feel normal. And if she felt like that it had to be even more strange for Emma. The only way to normalize the situation was to keep saying it. Let the acceptance offensive begin.

  They walked across the driveway and he met them on the passenger side of the vehicle. In his battered brown leather jacket, jeans and boots he still looked every inch the heartthrob rebel he used to be.

  He smiled down at his daughter. “Hi.”

  “Hi.” Her voice was polite with a twist of ‘I’m only here because she’s making me do this.’

  “How’s your knee?” he asked.

  “Gross. It’s all scabby.”

  “It’s healing,” Shelby interjected, being that perky bridge over troubled waters she’d vowed to be.

  “Hey.” Luke’s smile didn’t waver when he looked at her but it also didn’t reach his eyes. He was doing his best to not look mad. “Are you guys ready to do this?”

  “We are,” she said.

  He didn’t look reassured but gallantly opened the rear passenger door. “It’s a long way up. Can I help you, Emma?”

  “No. I can do it by myself.” With an effort she climbed in and settled in the center of the back seat.

  That was different. “Why are you in the middle?”

  “He makes me.”

  “Statistics show that it’s safer,” he explained.

  “Good to know.” That was sweet, Shelby thought. Although it hadn’t gotten their daughter to progress beyond male pronouns in referring to Luke.

  This was their first family outing—nine years later than it should have been. And right on cue guilt smiled, waved and sat on her chest. Right now the best she could say about this was better late than never. At least when Emma was older she wouldn’t have to wonder or ask questions about her dad and resent Shelby because half of her medical history was a question mark.

&nb
sp; Luke closed the door then opened Shelby’s. “Can you make it?”

  “Yeah.” She hauled herself up and into the front passenger seat. Very graceful and ladylike. And why on earth should she care?

  Maybe because Luke was right there, his face not far from hers. His mouth not far from hers. In the old days he would have leaned in and kissed her until she was breathless and wanting. The old days were exciting. Now there was just anger and guilt. Maybe if she could help Emma accept him her guilt would ease. There was only one way to find out.

  “Let’s go.” She forced herself to smile. It wasn’t getting any easier.

  Luke got behind the wheel, started the engine and put the truck in Reverse. It was a big vehicle compared to Shelby’s conservative compact and he handled it with an ease that she found masculine and captivating. Sensible Shelby was starting out on this mission already at a disadvantage.

  When life gives you lemons, make conversation. Continuing to be a bridge, she thought. “Emma, what do you want to ride on first?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You like the carousel,” she said.

  “My favorite ride is the roller coaster.” Luke glanced at her, getting where she was going with this. He took a quick look in the rearview mirror. “What’s yours, Emma?”

  “I don’t know. I’m too little to go on most of them.”

  “You have to be a certain height for all the rides and last year she was too short to go on any alone.” She said so that only he could hear, “She will probably need an adult to go on them this year.”

  “Okay.”

  A few minutes later he pulled the truck into the parking lot. After driving up and down rows, he finally found a spot. “Here we are.”

  “This is going to be fun.” Maybe if she put good karma out into the universe it would smile down on this adventure.

  The three of them exited the truck and headed for the entrance. Shelby tried to casually maneuver Emma between them but the little girl always ended up on the outside, holding her mother’s hand. The journey of a thousand miles started with a single step, she reminded herself.