What Makes A Father (HQR Special Edition) Read online

  “I’m planning to cross that bridge if and when it needs crossing.”

  She put a brave and confident note in her voice because she didn’t feel especially brave or confident. Leaving her babies with a trusted friend who bailed her out in an emergency was one thing. Turning them over to a stranger, even a seasoned child-care professional who’d passed a thorough background check was something she dreaded.

  “It’s really something,” he said. “Taking in two infants.”

  “How could I not?” Annie swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat. “Their mother was my sister.”

  “Still, I know people who wouldn’t do it. You and Jessica must have been close.”

  “We were. She was always there for me. No matter what—” Unexpectedly, tears filled her eyes and Annie didn’t want him to see.

  She stood, picked up her plate and turned away before walking over to the sink. She felt more than heard Mason come up behind her. Warmth from his body and the subtle scent of his aftershave surrounded her in a really nice way.

  “Annie, if I haven’t said it already, I’m very sorry for your loss.”

  “That’s exactly what her doctor said to me when he told me she was dead. Is there a class in med school on how to break bad news to loved ones?”

  “No. Unfortunately, it’s just experience. The kind no doctor wants to get.”

  It had been three months since Jess died. Annie had thought she was out of tears and didn’t want to show weakness in front of this man. Maybe because he was the babies’ biological father and had a stronger and more intimate connection to them than she did. The reason didn’t matter because she couldn’t hold back her shaky breaths any more than she could hide the silent sobs that shook her whole body.

  The next thing she knew, his big, strong hands settled gently on her upper arms and he turned her toward him, pulled her against his chest in a comforting embrace. He didn’t say anything, just held her. It felt nice. And safe.

  That was a feeling Annie had very little experience with in her life. Odd that it came from a relative stranger. Maybe Jess had felt it, too.

  Annie got her emotions under control and took a step back. She was embarrassed and couldn’t quite meet his gaze. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

  “Don’t be.”

  She shrugged. “Can’t help it. I don’t know why I broke down now. It’s not a fresh reality.”

  “Maybe you haven’t had time to grieve. What with suddenly being responsible for two babies.”

  That actually made a lot of sense to her. “Anyway, thanks.”

  “You’re welcome. I hope it helped.” He looked like he sincerely meant that. Apparently the business of helping people was the right one for him.

  “Speaking of those babies, I’m going to check on them. It’s not their habit to be so quiet and cooperative when I’m having a meal.” The first one with their father, she noted.

  “You cooked, so I’ll do the dishes.”

  “Cook is a very nebulous term for the way I warmed up leftovers. But I’m taking that deal,” she agreed.

  The best one she’d had in a long time. She went to the “nursery” and found Charlie and Sarah awake and playing. Standing where they couldn’t see her, she watched them exploring fingers and feet and smiling at each other.

  Her heart was so full of love for these two tiny humans that it hurt, and was something she experienced daily. But having a man in her kitchen doing dishes didn’t happen on a regular basis.

  She found herself actually liking Mason Blackburne. So far. But she hadn’t known him very long. There was still time for him to screw up and she had every confidence that he would.

  Men couldn’t seem to help themselves.

  * * *

  Mason was feeding a bottle to Charlie when he heard footsteps coming up the outside stairs followed by the apartment door opening. Annie walked in and looked at him then glanced around.

  “Wow, it’s quiet in here. And really neat.” Was there the tiniest bit of envy in her expression? “I’m feeling a little inadequate because I can’t seem to manage two infants and an apartment without leaving a trail of debris and destruction in my wake.”

  “Oh, well, you know—”

  After several weeks of him visiting the babies every chance he could, she’d reluctantly accepted his offer to watch them while she went to her office for a meeting. He wasn’t completely sure she hadn’t done a background check on him before agreeing. Fortunately he’d already passed the diaper-changing, bottle-feeding and burping tests. Still, Annie had been very obviously conflicted about walking out the door and leaving him in charge. He’d assured her there was nothing to worry about and shooed her off to work.

  She’d barely been gone five minutes before all hell had broken loose. Two code browns and a simultaneous red alert on the hunger front. His situational readiness went to DEFCON 1 and he’d done what he’d had to do.

  Glancing at the hallway then at her, he said, “I thought you’d be gone longer.”

  She walked over and kissed Charlie’s forehead. The scent of her skin wrapped around Mason as if she’d touched him, too, and he found himself wishing she had. The night she’d cried and he held her in his arms was never far from his mind. She’d felt good there, soft and sweet.

  “I stayed for the high points then ducked out of the meeting. I just missed my babies and didn’t want to be away from them any longer,” she said. “How did it go? Where’s Sarah?”

  At that moment his mother walked into the room holding the baby in question. Florence Blackburne was inching toward sixty but looked ten years younger. Her brown hair, straight and turned under just shy of her shoulders, was shot with highlights. He’d been about to tell Annie that he’d called her for help, but he was outed now.

  “You must be Annie. I’m Florence, Mason’s mother.”

  Annie’s hazel eyes opened wide when she looked at him. “I thought you said you could handle everything.”

  “When I said that, the ratio of adults to babies was one to one. And I did handle it,” he said defensively. “I called for reinforcements.” He set the bottle on the coffee table and lifted Charlie to his shoulder to coax a burp out of him. It came almost instantly, loud and with spit-up. “That’s my boy,” he said proudly.

  “Seriously?” she said.

  “Eventually he’ll learn to say excuse me.” Mason shrugged then returned to the subject of calling his mom. “I admit that I underestimated my multitasking abilities.”

  “Oh, please,” Flo said. “You just couldn’t stand that one of your children was unhappy.”

  “Yeah, there’s that,” he acknowledged.

  “Even though I told him that crying isn’t a bad thing. They’d be fine.” Flo was talking to Annie now. “You know this already. You’ve been doing it by yourself since these little sweethearts were born.”

  “I have.” Annie gave him a look that could mean anything from “You’re a child-care jackass” to “Finally someone gets it.”

  “How nice that you had backup on your first solo mission.”

  Flo’s blue eyes brimmed with sympathy and understanding as only another mother’s could. She handed the baby girl to Annie. “You’re not alone now, honey. Being a mother is the hardest job you’ll ever do times two. And sometimes you need a break. Recharge your batteries. Take a deep breath. Go get your hair trimmed or a pedicure. I just want you to know that I’m here. Don’t hesitate to call.”

  “I would never impose,” Annie said.

  “These are my grandchildren. It wouldn’t be an imposition. I have a part-time job as a receptionist in a dermatology office and my hours are flexible, so we can work around that. Mason will give you my number.”

  “Thank you.” Annie kissed Sarah’s cheek. “I appreciate that.”

  “What are grandmothers for?” She shrugge
d. “Full disclosure, I might spoil them just a little because I’ve waited a long time to play the grandmother card. Charlie and Sarah will learn that my house is different, but I will never compromise your rules. I might be prejudiced, but these are the most beautiful babies I’ve ever seen. Although I don’t see much of Mason in them.”

  “Gee, thanks, Ma,” he teased.

  “I didn’t mean it like that, son.” She smiled at him. “It’s just that they look a lot like you, Annie.”

  She pressed her cheek to baby Sarah’s. “There was a strong resemblance between my sister and me.”

  “Then she was very beautiful,” his mom said.

  “She was,” Annie agreed.

  The subtext was that Annie was beautiful, too, and Mason couldn’t agree more. Today she was professionally dressed in slacks, a silky white blouse and black sweater. Low-heeled pumps completed the outfit, but he missed her bare feet. Her straight, silky blond hair fell past her shoulders and she was wearing makeup for the first time since he’d met her. And he’d been right. She was a knockout.

  “Well, you two, now that everything is under control, I’ll be going.” Florence grabbed her purse, kissed Mason on the cheek and smiled fondly at her grandbabies. “It was wonderful to meet you, Annie. You don’t need my approval, but it has to be said that you’ve done a remarkable job with your children. And I sincerely meant what I said. Call me if you need anything.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Blackburne—”

  “It’s Flo.” She patted Annie’s shoulder. “’Bye.”

  And then the two of them were alone, each holding a baby, and Mason wondered what Annie was thinking.

  “So that was my mom.”

  “You have her eyes.”

  He’d heard that before. “It turns out that when one of my children is crying because he or she has needs that I can’t instantly meet, it’s not something I manage very well.”

  “As flaws go, it’s not an exceptionally bad one to have,” she conceded. “So you called your mom.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And if I got home later and your mom was gone, would you have let me believe you sailed through your first time alone with them trouble free?”

  He would have wanted to. There was the whole male pride thing, after all. But... “No. I’d have told you she’d been here.”

  “Why?”

  “Because that’s the truth and it’s the right thing to do.” He shrugged and a dozing Charlie squirmed a little against his shoulder.

  “I’m not sure I believe you.”

  He remembered her saying she was a skeptic and had her reasons. Skepticism was rearing its ugly head now. “In time you’ll be convinced that I embrace the motto that cheaters never prosper.”

  “And in time, if I’m convinced, something tells me your mom is responsible for that honest streak.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah. She’s really something.”

  “She’s just excited and happy to finally have even one grandchild. In her world twins is winning the lottery.”

  “I didn’t mean that as a criticism.” There was a baby quilt on the sofa beside him. Annie took it and spread the material on the floor in front of the coffee table. She put Sarah on it then sat next to him. “I meant just the opposite. She’s full of energy in the best possible way. The kind of supportive, protective mother I wish my mom had been. The kind I want to be.”

  That little kernel of information reminded Mason that he didn’t know much about her. The night they’d been getting acquainted he’d given her some facts about himself. She’d only offered up what she did for a living and then he’d held her when she’d cried. He hadn’t been able to focus on much besides the soft curves of her body and hadn’t noticed how little he’d learned. Now he was becoming aware of how guarded she was. And it wasn’t just about protecting Charlie and Sarah. She held parts of herself back and he wondered why.

  He stood with Charlie in his arms, then moved to the blanket on the floor and gently settled the sleeping baby next to his sister. After stretching his cramped muscles, he met Annie’s gaze. “So, what you just said implies that your mother wasn’t supportive.”

  “She had issues.”

  He waited for more but that was it. “Had? Does that mean she passed away?”

  “No. She lives in Florida with her husband.” When Sarah let out a whimper, Annie jumped up as if she’d just been waiting for an excuse to end this conversation. “Did she have a bottle?”

  “No.”

  “Okay.” Annie scooped up the baby and went into the kitchen to get a bottle from the refrigerator.

  Mason didn’t claim to be a specialist in the area of feelings but it didn’t take a genius to see that Annie wasn’t comfortable talking about herself. Either she was hiding something or there was a lot of pain in the memories. So now he knew she was a graphic artist, had adored her sister and missed her terribly. And there was stuff in her past that she didn’t want to talk about.

  That was okay. She was the mother of his children and he wasn’t going anywhere. In his experience as an ER doc, he’d learned that often people held things back but eventually the facts came out. And he wanted all the facts about his children’s legal guardian.

  Chapter Three

  Several weeks after Mason walked into her life Annie got her first really powerful blast of mom guilt. There had been some minor brushes with the feeling, but this one was a doozy.

  Because of him, and by extension his mother, Florence, everything had changed. For the better, she admitted. The woman was fantastic with the twins so when she’d offered to watch them while Annie went to a mandatory meeting in the office, she’d gratefully accepted.

  It had only been a few hours ago that Annie had walked out of her apartment but it felt like days. She checked her phone to make sure there were no messages. The empty screen mocked her and she felt the tiniest bit disposable, followed by easily replaceable. There was a healthy dose of exhilaration for this unexpected independence mixed with missing her babies terribly. The verdict was in. She was officially conflicted and on the cusp of crazy.

  If all that wasn’t guilt-inducing enough, she was going to have a grown-up girlfriend lunch. She should call it off and go be with Charlie and Sarah. Even as that thought popped into her head, she saw Carla Kellerman walking toward her with a food bag. Her friend had stopped to pick up something, as promised. So if Annie bugged out now, Carla would be inconvenienced. She would just have to eat fast.

  “Hi.” Carla came into her cubicle and smiled.

  This woman was completely adorable. Perky and shiny. Straight, thick red hair fell past her shoulders and went perfectly with her warm brown eyes. She had the biggest, friendliest smile ever. And a soft, mushy heart. The occasional loss of her temper was almost always on someone else’s behalf and made her completely human. As flaws went, it was adorable.

  “I forgot how much I love this office,” her friend said, looking around. “If I didn’t already have a job, I would want to work here.”

  C&J Graphic Design occupied the top floor of an office building on the corner of C Street and Jones Boulevard in the center of Huntington Hills. The light wood floor stretched from the boss’s office at one end of the long, narrow room to the employees’ lounge at the other. Overhead track lighting illuminated cubicles separated by glass partitions. The environment had a collaborative vibe and Annie loved seeing her coworkers’ creative ideas and them having easy access to hers.

  “Hi, yourself.” Her stomach growled. Loud.

  “Apparently my arrival with provisions isn’t a moment too soon.” Carla grinned. “I guess I don’t have to ask if you’re ready to eat.”

  “Follow me. There are drinks in the break room fridge. Or we could sit outside.” It was October but Southern California was still warm. There was a patio with wrought iron tables and ch
airs shaded by trees and surrounded with grass, shrubs and flowers.

  “That. Door number two,” her friend said. “I need fresh air.”

  They grabbed drinks, walked to the elevator and Annie hit the down button.

  “Maybe we should go wild today and take the stairs,” Carla suggested. “I could use the exercise.”

  “Since when? Don’t get me wrong,” Annie added. “I’m a supportive friend who will follow you bravely down eight flights of stairs. But this switch from ‘I can’t stand sweat’ to ‘We should take the stairs’ is different.”

  “Not really. I always think about it.”

  Annie opened the stairway door and they started down. “But I can’t read your mind. You never said anything before. What’s changed? Got a crush on the boss?”

  “Hardly. I work for Lillian Gordon.”

  “I know. But didn’t her nephew come in to help the company over a rough financial patch?”

  “Yes. Gabriel Blackburne. But he’s kind of a hermit. Keeps to his office, hunched over a computer, presumably strategizing how to turn the company around.”

  They’d reached the ground floor and both of them were breathing a little harder as they headed for the rear door that led to the patio.

  Carla gave her a look. “You have the strangest expression on your face. Why?”

  “Because Mason’s last name is Blackburne.”

  “Who’s Mason?”

  “The babies’ father,” Annie clarified.

  “Small world,” her friend said. “We needed this lunch even more than I thought so you can fill me in.”

  “I wonder if Mason is related to your Gabriel Blackburne. It’s not that common a name,” Annie said.

  “I guess it’s possible.” Her friend moved decisively to the table with the most shade, put the bag down on it and sat in one of the sturdy metal chairs. “From what Lillian tells me, Gabriel is not a fan of her business plan but he does approve of the branding campaign C&J did for Make Me a Match.”

  “Well, he sounds a little intimidating, but definitely has good taste in graphic design companies.” Annie sat at a right angle to her friend. “You’d expect Mason to be that way, but he’s not.”