The Maverick's Christmas Homecoming Page 17

  “Sure thing.” Jamee stared at Shane as if she were trying to place him, then there was a glimmer of recognition. “Wow. You’re Shane Roarke.”

  “Guilty as charged.”

  “Wait till I tell Carl.” She cocked a thumb toward the counter with swivel stools and the kitchen beyond. “He’s the cook here. No pressure, huh?”

  Shane smiled and only someone who knew him could tell his effortless charm was missing in action and his heart wasn’t in it. “I’m sure the food is great.”

  She took a pencil from behind her ear and held a pad. “What are you doing all the way out here in the middle of nowhere?”

  There wasn’t much around except the jail compound they’d been to and Gianna was pretty sure he wouldn’t want to share that he’d just visited his father there. She was at a loss with an answer, but Shane handled it with ease.

  “I’m working at Thunder Canyon Resort, The Gallatin Room. I wanted to take a drive, clear my head.” He looked across the table. “Gianna works with me and kept me company for some sightseeing.”

  “Not a lot to look at, but I’m glad you stopped in. I’m a big fan. Never missed an episode of If You Can’t Stand the Heat.” Jamee was gushing now and who could blame her? Of all the diners in all the world, a celebrity had just walked into hers. “I voted for you every week.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  “You’re a lot better looking in person.”

  “Thanks.” The brooding expression was back and pretty easy to read. He was thinking that probably his looks came from his mother because of the strong resemblance to Dax and D. J. Traub. “I think I’ll just have a burger. Medium.”

  “That comes with fries.”

  “Fine,” he said.

  “Me, too, and a cup of tea.” Gianna grabbed a couple of napkins from the container and put one in her lap.

  “Coming right up.”

  She watched the waitress disappear through a swinging door, then met Shane’s gaze. There was doubt, questions and confusion in his eyes and her heart ached for him. She wished she could wave a magic wand and take it all away.

  “What are you thinking?” she asked.

  His mouth tightened and anger took over his features. “How could she not tell him she was pregnant with his child?”

  “I don’t know.” Gianna knew the “she” in question was Grace. “She was probably scared. It sounds like her parents were strict and controlling.”

  “It was wrong.”

  “I can’t argue with you there. Arthur had a right to know. Just like Dax and D.J. have a right to know they have a half brother.”

  “To share memories of their mother with?” His tone was mocking. “That’s not going to happen. D.J. made himself pretty clear. They don’t want anything to do with me. My very existence puts a big bad ding in her perfect reputation and their memories.”

  She wasn’t so sure he was wrong about that. “Who knew Arthur Swinton would turn out to be the injured party in all this?”

  “Injured?” The single word was spoken in a soft, scornful voice. “That implies something he could recuperate from. She ripped his heart out and he never recovered. He fell in love and it ruined his life.”

  Just then the waitress brought their burgers and fries and set the plates down. “I’ll get your hot tea right out. Anything to drink for you?” she asked Shane.

  “Not unless you’ve got something stronger than coffee.”

  “Sorry.” Jamee looked it. “Anything else?”

  A miracle, Gianna thought. All she said was, “This is fine.”

  Her stomach was in knots and there was no way she’d get this or anything else down. Shane was slipping away. She could feel it and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

  Leaving her food untouched, she stared across the table. “Shane, look at it from Dax and D.J.’s point of view. This has rocked your world and you always knew you were adopted. The Traubs are just finding out their mother had secrets. Give them time to process what’s going on. You, too. Now you know what happened. You’ll come to terms with the past.”

  “There’s nothing to come to terms with.” He shrugged. “I found out what I wanted to know. It’s over.”

  That sounded so final. As if he was finished with a part of his life, the part that included her.

  “What are you going to do?” she asked.

  “It’s the holidays. I need to see my family. The one that actually does want me around,” he clarified. “I’m going to Los Angeles.”

  She had a bad feeling about this. Just the way he said it made her want to put a finer point on his plans. December 25th was a little over a week away and he was making a trip sound imminent. “For Christmas?”

  He shook his head. “As soon as I can get a flight out.”

  “But that’s earlier than you planned.” Duh, stating the obvious.

  He shook his head. “I never should have started any of this in the first place. If I just go away quietly, the Traubs can get on with their lives and Grace’s memory will be preserved.”

  “But it’s not the truth. She was human. She had flaws and made mistakes. That doesn’t mean she was a bad person and they shouldn’t love her. Or you.”

  He went on as if he hadn’t heard her. “D.J. is the only one who knows. He probably didn’t say anything to the rest of them because he didn’t believe me, anyway. It’s time for me to move on. Like you said, I found out what I came here for.”

  But was that all he’d found? What about her? What about the two of them? Neither of those were questions she could ask. Instead she said, “What about the restaurant?”

  “The sous-chef can take over for me. I’ve trained her. No one is irreplaceable.”

  He was wrong about that. He couldn’t be replaced in her heart. And that’s when she knew she’d fallen in love with him. It was implied when she’d told him there was nowhere else she’d rather be than with him, even meeting his father for the first time in jail. And no matter that he denied it, she was pretty sure he blamed her for convincing him to tell D.J. the truth. The look on his face said he wouldn’t forgive her, either.

  She’d wasted years on relationships that were wrong and not long at all on one that she’d thought was right, only to find out it was one-sided. He’d connected the dots of who he was and his contract at The Gallatin Room was almost up. So, he had no reason to stay and every reason to go back to Los Angeles.

  Somehow it was no comfort that she hadn’t put in a lot of time falling for him. Fate had a way of evening the score and she was going to spend the rest of her life missing him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  In her apartment after work, Gianna took her cup of tea and walked over to the tiny Christmas tree on a table in front of her window. She’d changed out of her work clothes and put on fleece pajama bottoms and a red Henley top for warmth. It was a schleppy outfit, but what did it matter? No one was coming, and by no one she meant Shane. He was either in Los Angeles or on his way.

  Between her regular time off and The Gallatin Room’s Monday closure she hadn’t seen him for a couple of days. Tonight when she’d gone to work Bonnie had broken the news that Shane told the staff he was leaving for the holidays. It felt as if he’d whipped her heart with a wire whisk. The rest of the staff thought he’d be back to work after New Year’s, but Gianna knew better.

  He was gone for good.

  The last couple of days had given her a sad and painful previ
ew of how life without Shane would feel. It was as if someone turned off a light inside her and not even holiday decorations could power it back up.

  “The most wonderful time of the year, my backside,” she mumbled to herself.

  She set her steaming mug on the table where the tree stood and looked at the assembled presents. The packages for her family were arranged on the floor, too big to fit underneath in the traditional spot. Only one was small enough and the tag had Shane’s name on it.

  She picked up the square box wrapped in gold foil paper with red holly berries. She’d spent a long time getting the three-dimensional red bow just right. That investment of energy was nothing compared to how she’d agonized over what to buy for the man who had everything. Aftershave was a cliché. He didn’t wear neckties—also a cliché. Nothing too personal—even though they’d made love and things didn’t get much more personal than that. Her body ached with the memories of that magic night, doomed to be a single, life-changing event.

  Of course she hadn’t known that when picking out his present. It couldn’t be too expensive, mostly because her budget would only stretch so far. But still the gift had to mean something.

  She looked at the box holding the blue wool neck scarf that matched his eyes. “It means I’m an idiot.”

  He was gone and she should give this to charity so someone could use it.

  Then she realized she was the charity case who could use it. “For a horrible warning to never fall in love again.”

  A knock on the door startled her because it was late and she wasn’t expecting anyone. Her family would have called. No one would just drop in unless it was someone who knew her schedule. Someone like Shane.

  Her heart started to pound and she walked to the door, then peeked out the window beside it. He was there on the landing and the light that had gone dark inside her blazed brightly again. He was here; he hadn’t left town. He was...

  What? Her hands shook as she looked at the box she was still holding. How quickly the horrible warning was forgotten. But, she realized, the warning was too late, anyway, since she was already in love with him.

  She opened the door and the outside cold made her shiver. His coat was open and his hands were in the pockets. He could really use a scarf to keep him warm.

  “Shane. What are you doing here?”

  His gaze dropped to her fleece pants and long-sleeved shirt. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but his eyes seemed to go intense for just a moment while lingering on her chest. “I saw your light was still on.”

  “I thought you’d left town. That’s what they told me at the restaurant.” Could he tell how hurt she was?

  “I had a flight out tonight,” he admitted. “I actually made it all the way to the airport, but it felt wrong.”

  “Define ‘it.’”

  “Can I come in? Would that be all right?”

  No, it wasn’t all right. This was like grinding his heel into her already broken heart, but closing the door in his face wasn’t an option. And it was too cold to stand here.

  She pulled the door wide. “Come in.”

  “Thanks. I won’t stay long.”

  As he moved past her the air stirred with the spicy masculine scent of his skin and she knew forever wouldn’t be long enough for him to stay. But she had no illusions about that wish coming true.

  She closed the door and said, “I’m just having some tea. Would you like a cup?”

  “No.”

  She picked up her mug and sat on the sofa, leaving room for him beside her. “So, why are you here?”

  “I just wanted to talk to—” He stopped, then slid into the space next to her without taking off his coat. “We’re friends, Gianna.”

  “I thought so.” Even she could hear the hurt in her voice.

  “I’ve been an ass and having a lot on my mind is no excuse. I thought going to L.A. would help me sort things out. Then I got to the airport and couldn’t go. I’ve sort of gotten used to talking to you and it was unprofessional to leave the restaurant on short notice.”

  “What about D.J.?”

  “So far I haven’t heard anything from him. If there’s any fallout from what I said, I’ll be here to face it. I’m not hiding.”

  She nodded approval. “There are no more secrets and that’s the way it should be. It’s a good plan, Shane.”

  “It feels good.” He met her gaze. “And I don’t think I ever told you just how much I appreciate your support through everything. You didn’t just listen. You were there for me.”

  She saw the light dim in his eyes and knew he was talking about that day at the jail. The day his father found out he had a son and the woman he’d loved all his life had kept that from him.

  Friendship wasn’t nearly enough for her, she thought, but it looked like that was all he was offering and she’d take what she could get. She stared at him to memorize the shape of his nose, the stubborn line of his jaw, the exact shade of blue in his eyes.

  “I couldn’t let you go to the jail alone,” she said. “It’s not what friends do.”

  He looked like he wanted to say something to that, but shook his head and let it go. “Anyway, I had another reason for stopping by.”

  She felt something quiver inside her and knew it was hope stirring. If she could slap it around and discourage the emotion she would, but that was hard when hope had a life of its own.

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah. I know you want to travel.”

  “It was a dream.” She was surprised he remembered. “I was always told to study what you love in school. Do what you love in your job. I was good at business and marketing and wanted to see the world. A travel agency seemed like a perfect fit.” She shrugged. “It was just a cruel twist of fate that I never got to go anywhere.”

  “Well, it’s not the world, but I’d like to take you to L.A. for Christmas. You’ve been supportive of me through this weird, crazy, biological-parent journey and I’d very much like you to meet my real family.”

  “I’m sure they’re wonderful people. How could they not be? They raised you and you’re a very good man. I wish I could...”

  He frowned. “I hear a but.”

  She squeezed the mug in her hands tightly. “This is my first Christmas with my family in a couple of years. I couldn’t afford the trip from New York. I was trying to keep my business afloat and after I lost it, jobs were hard to find. Keeping a roof over my head was important and the city is a pricey place to live. I didn’t have the money.”

  “You couldn’t foresee what a toll the recession would take. A lot of businesses didn’t make it. Not your fault.”

  She met his gaze and realized talking to him about her career disaster didn’t embarrass her. Even though he was so phenomenally successful, he’d never made her feel less because she didn’t hit it big. She appreciated that. “Anyway, this Christmas is all about reconnecting with my folks, my sister, my nephews and niece.”

  “I understand the importance of family in a very profound way.” He was quiet for several moments, thinking. “I’m also not a man who gracefully takes no for an answer.”

  “Oh?”

  “If so, I wouldn’t have annihilated my reality show cooking competition by making an edible dish out of beef jerky, kidney beans and wine.”

  “Eww.” She stared at him. “You’re joking.”

  “Only about the jerky.” He grinned. “Not about giving up easily. How about a compromise? You have Christmas Eve with your family
. I’ll take you to L.A. on Christmas day to meet mine.”

  She didn’t like the idea of him being alone for any part of the holiday. “Do you have anywhere to go on the 24th?”

  “No, but that’s okay.” He shrugged. “I’ll manage.”

  “That’s just wrong.” She couldn’t hold back the words. “I’m sure there’s room for one more at the Garrisons.”

  “I wouldn’t want to impose,” he said.

  “My family would love to meet you.”

  “I’d like to meet them. On one condition,” he said. “Come with me to the west coast on Christmas. You’ve been an incredible friend, more than I deserve. Let me thank you for all you’ve done. I only want to hear a yes.”

  And she wanted to hear him say he loved her, but that wasn’t going to happen. He was only interested in friendship and she understood why, because she’d been there when he met Arthur Swinton. Love ruined the man’s life and Shane wasn’t going to let that happen to him.

  Where was a horrible warning when you really needed it? If she was smart, she’d tell him no. But she wasn’t smart because she couldn’t say it. She didn’t want the light inside to go out sooner than necessary. Whatever time she had with him she would take, if only to store up memories for when she was alone.

  “You win, but then you always do. I’d love to go to Los Angeles with you.”

  * * *

  After following Gianna’s directions, Shane pulled the car to a stop at the curb in front of her parents’ house at the appointed time on Christmas Eve. Her gifts were in the backseat next to a pile that he’d brought. He’d quizzed her about the kids’ ages, likes and dislikes, then shopped so he didn’t come empty-handed.

  He was in a great mood. To her knowledge, in the days since he’d postponed his trip to Los Angeles, he hadn’t heard anything from D. J. Traub. Shane hadn’t told her how he felt about it and she wasn’t going to ask tonight. He wasn’t brooding anymore and that was good enough for her.