His by Christmas Page 16

  Her lips slowly curved up, the first genuine smile in almost twenty-four hours. “It was?”

  “Without a doubt. And even though you’re deserting me and Hart Energy, we will still see each other when we get back to real life.”

  “We will?” Suddenly she glowed with happiness.

  “Yes.”

  Cal knew he couldn’t not see her. He’d spent every day of the last four weeks with her. Every morning he saw her beautiful, serene smile and had breakfast with her. At night she curled up against him and he was filled with the passion of keeping her at his side, safe and happy. Somehow that kept him safe, too.

  Tension seemed to flow out of her. “So do you want to drink to cashing in on the bet with your brother? You did stay on the island for a month.”

  And she’d been with him during that time—first with work, then with her body. “That isn’t my top priority.”

  “What is?” she asked, smiling.

  He’d never brought up the future because he didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t thought about much of anything beyond wanting her with every fiber of his being. But now the future was staring him in the face and he wanted to do this right, be as honest as he could be. He had to put all his cards on the table.

  “Justine—” Her name was a whisper on his lips and he leaned over to kiss her. Her mouth was warm and giving. “I care for you. A lot. And I want us to see each other when we get back to Blackwater Lake. But it’s not fair to you not to be straight. I can’t make any promises. What we have is fantastic. But I’m not very good at marriage.”

  “No one said anything about marriage.” There was the barest flicker of change in her expression.

  “I know. But it’s important to be completely open about expectations and feelings.”

  She didn’t make a sound. It was as if the light in her eyes dimmed. “Yes, it is. And I remember very clearly what you said about your feelings regarding marriage.”

  “Right.” This was going better than he’d hoped. He was glad she understood. “I mean, who marries the woman who was in love with his brother, you know?”

  “A competitive man,” she said almost absently. “You want to come in first. It’s what made you take the bet to spend a month on an island.”

  “Exactly.”

  “And I also remember you saying that you’re not good at love. That you don’t do anything that you’re not good at.”

  “You have quite the memory.” But Cal studied her closely after detecting something in her voice. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”

  “That wasn’t my intention. It’s good to know one’s strengths and weaknesses. Saves a lot of time and trouble. Good talk, Cal.” She picked up her wine and took a sip, then stared out the window.

  Somehow Cal felt as if he’d just made things worse and wasn’t sure how. But clearly her sass had disappeared again. He’d fixed it once and could do it again. He would come up with something by the time they landed in Blackwater Lake.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The wheels of the plane touched down at Blackwater Lake Regional Airport. It was a smooth landing but Justine felt a jolt all the way to her heart. She’d wished the flight could go on forever. Just Cal and her cruising through the clouds.

  That’s what she’d been doing for the last couple of weeks, since the night she’d challenged him to take her to bed. Was it so awful to want sun, sand, seduction and sex to go on forever? There’d been no promises or declarations made, not until this plane had taken off and they started the trip home.

  Cal had said he cared for her very much. It had been on the tip of her tongue to say that she was in love with him, so his statement made her feel...empty.

  The Gulfstream taxied to the small terminal and stopped. Then the engines powered down.

  “We’re home.” Cal smiled and released his seat belt.

  “Yes.” There was no point in disagreeing with the obvious.

  But home? She hadn’t lived there long enough to get all warm and fuzzy about it after being gone for a month. And then there was what happened with Cal. Not his fault, not anyone’s fault that they were in different places. But she was going to quit her job and open her own business as soon as possible. She’d get it up and running, meet people and be happy in spite of him, damn it.

  Tears filled her eyes and she didn’t want Cal to see. That would be awkward. He would feel bad and she didn’t want him to because she appreciated his honesty. Her life experience had made her who she was today and so did his. It was what it was.

  So after freeing herself from the seat belt, she stood and turned away from him to look out the window. It was dark outside. Airport lights illuminated the immediate area where the plane was parked, and she could see into the terminal, which was all but deserted at this hour. There was a ghostlike air about the place, which felt appropriate, given her mood. The termination of hope wasn’t a cheerful thing.

  All she had to do now was keep it together for the next few minutes while collecting her luggage. Shanna had promised to pick her up. So a quick goodbye to Cal and she could be on her way to her apartment.

  The flight attendant opened the rear door and chilly air swept into the cabin.

  “It’s cold out there,” Cal said. “Welcome to Montana in November.”

  “Yeah.” She looked down at her short-sleeved T-shirt and linen slacks. “A month ago the cold wasn’t a priority and it never crossed my mind when we left the villa.”

  She’d been too preoccupied about where their relationship would go after returning to Blackwater Lake. He’d answered the question not long after the plane took off.

  “The bags will be unloaded in a couple of minutes,” he promised.

  “Great.” She smiled brightly and realized her jaw hurt. That’s what happened when you sat next to a man for hours and forced yourself to be cheerful when all you wanted was to curl into the fetal position.

  “You stay here while I go check on things. Give me a couple of minutes.”

  “Okay.”

  When he headed for the open door, she texted Shanna that the plane landed. Her friend replied that she would be there ASAP. Then Justine gathered the personal items she’d kept with her and headed for the exit and climbed down the portable stairway that had been rolled into place. Cal was waiting for her at the bottom. He pulled a fleece-lined jacket around her. It was big and obviously his.

  As if reluctant to break contact, he curled his hands into the material and held the coat around her. “You were awfully quiet on the flight. Are you okay?”

  “Of course.” The muscles in her jaw protested when she smiled.

  “I’m not sure I believe you.”

  She was aware of his attention to detail, but had once again underestimated his powers of perception. “Oh?”

  “I feel as if something I said is bothering you. Let me fix it.”

  She shook her head. It wasn’t what he’d said that troubled her, because the truth was always preferable to being strung along. She blamed herself for disregarding the voice in her head that kept warning her not to cross the line from professional to personal with her boss. There were the obvious reasons, but he’d been open and up-front about his own past, the personal baggage he would always carry. She’d thought it was so sweet and sensitive when he’d held back his attraction for her sake. That was irresistible. And a mistake on her part not to resist.

  “You didn’t say anything wrong,” she assured him.

  There was enough light to see the questions in his eyes, but he nodded. “Okay, then.”

  “Good.” This was the hard part. “I really enjoyed working with you.”

  “We do make a good team.” His smile turned sexy. “And I’m not only talking about the work. We’re very good together, Justine.”

  “It
was a magical couple of weeks.” The effort to keep her tone light and carefree took an enormous toll on her emotional reserves. “I’ll never forget it.”

  “Me, either.” He dropped his hands from the jacket and glanced over his shoulder. “I have a car waiting. I’ll just tell the driver to load up our bags. Then we’ll go to my condo and get settled.”

  Justine didn’t know whether to kiss him or slug him. “Why would you assume that was okay with me?”

  “You just said we’re good together. We had a great time on the island and it doesn’t have to end.”

  So sweet and yet so clueless. “You didn’t ask, just assumed that I would be okay with this.”

  “I knew it.” He frowned. “There is something wrong. Don’t tell me you’re fine when I know you’re not.”

  “I think it would be best if we just—”

  “Here’s what I think.” He took a breath and his lips moved as he silently counted to five. “Come to the condo with me. We’ll sit in front of the fireplace and get warm. Have some wine. Hash things out.”

  There was a disaster scenario if she’d ever heard one. In a setting like he’d just described, their mouths would get busy, but not with talking. One kiss and she would be lost. Then all her clothes would come off, and for a while loving him would make her forget why getting in deeper would hurt so much more in the long run.

  “I can’t do that. I’m going to grab my bags and go. To my apartment.”

  “How are you getting home?” he asked, his tone rife with disapproval and irritation.

  “Shanna is coming.”

  “The car is here. We’ll drop you at your place. Tomorrow night we’ll have dinner together and—”

  “No.”

  He stared at her, apparently shocked into speechlessness at her negative reply. Finally he said, “That’s it? No explanation?”

  “How about this?” She thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to say this without crying. “The island was fantasy. It’s over. Parting ways makes the break quick and clean.”

  He frowned and his mouth pulled tight. “What if I don’t want a break?”

  “I think you do,” she said.

  “And why would you think that?”

  Because you’re competitive, she thought. He broke his leg and stayed on the island in spite of it because he was determined to always come in first. That would come between them eventually, just like it had with his first wife. Justine had once loved another man but it made her all the more certain about her feelings for Cal.

  On the island he’d taught her that she was a woman who needed to give and receive love. She was afraid the love she gave him would never be enough because he would always feel as if he’d come in second place.

  “Relationships shouldn’t be a competition with preconceived ideas and regulations.” She met his gaze. “I think even you would admit that I have the more compelling reason to shy away from anything permanent.”

  “And I get that, so—”

  She held up her hand. She was so close to tears and couldn’t last much longer. She needed to get this out while her composure would hold. “Let me finish. I’m not saying I ever want to fall in love and marry again, but I’m not about to shut down the possibility. You’re laying down ground rules before the starting gun even goes off.”

  “I told you I want to see you.” He was irritated and oblivious.

  “And for someone else that might be enough.” She studied him, memorizing every line in his face and the curve of his jaw. How she wanted to touch him, but that couldn’t happen. “I know what it feels like when life pulls the rug out from under you. After losing my family all I could think about were the things I didn’t do because of being tired, practical or selfish. I could have read to my daughter just a little longer when she was trying to delay going to sleep. I could have gone on that camping trip instead of arguing that it was less work to stay home.”

  “I’m not going to let you down,” he said.

  “I know you believe that, but it’s not what I heard you say. I came alive again on the island and will be forever grateful to you for that. But you set limits, and I promised myself that I won’t live my life with parameters.”

  “Justine, listen to me.”

  “No. I have to do what’s best for me.” She stood on tiptoe and pressed her mouth to his. The hardest thing she ever did was pull away from him. She slid his jacket from around her shoulders and handed it back to him. “Goodbye, Cal.”

  She took one last look at him, and when her vision began to blur with accumulated tears, she turned and walked away.

  * * *

  Cal had been back in Blackwater Lake for a week when his brother Sam called and asked to meet at the local pub, Bar None. He was on his way there now. Linc was coming, too, and their cousin Logan Hunt had succumbed to Sam’s arm-twisting to meet them. The Harts were planning to kumbaya the guy, convince him that they were family, not jerks like his father.

  The problem was that Cal wasn’t in a kumbaya kind of mood. When Justine told him they were over before anything really got started, he didn’t take her completely seriously. He figured she was tired from the long flight. Her bad leg might have cramped up. His did. There could have been any number of things bugging her, and he would call to smooth over any rough edges of their parting at the airport. So he tried to get in touch but had only been able to leave messages, none of which she’d returned.

  That in itself was a message. Over and out. He got it loud and clear. Guys’ night at Bar None worked for him because it would involve a beer. Or ten.

  He saw the familiar neon sign with crossed cocktail glasses and turned left into the lot next to the rustic building. The parking area was only half-full. Monday was ladies’ night and usually standing room only. But this was Tuesday, and as far as he could tell there was nothing promotional going on. Since they were trying to reconnect with Logan, quiet was probably better.

  He parked the car and got out, then walked to the heavy front door with a thick vertical handle. He let himself in and was swallowed up by the smell of peanuts, burgers and beer. He spotted Linc and Sam at a bistro table close to the bar. Apparently their cousin hadn’t arrived yet.

  The muscles in his injured leg were building up again fast and his stride was strong, stable as he walked over. That was a relief because he didn’t want any questions from them leading to things he didn’t want to talk about. Plastering a wide smile on his face, he shook hands with his brothers who stood to greet him with bro hugs.

  He and Sam were close in height. Linc was an inch or two shorter and his eyes were darker. In spite of the fact that he had a different father, they all shared the bond of growing up Hart. Now that he’d reconciled with his bride, Linc was the picture of a blissfully happy man.

  “Hope you haven’t been waiting long,” Cal said.

  “Just got here.” Sam grinned. “The first round of drinks is on me. Because I’m the oldest brother.”

  Cal looked at Linc. “We should let him buy every round.”

  “Works for me,” the other man said.

  “Ah, sibling rivalry on display.” Sam sighed. “Speaking of that, how was your vacation?”

  “Great.” Things didn’t go sour until he got back to Blackwater Lake, so technically, that was the truth.

  “You went to an island resort, right?” Linc studied him. “Is it just the light in here or do you not look very tan?”

  “Now that you mention it...not very rested, either,” Sam said. “And wasn’t that the whole point of getting away? By the way, we’ll settle up the bet at a to-be-determined time and place.”

  “Okay. And just so we’re clear, I’m new at the whole vacation thing.” Cal remembered Justine’s approval that he had finally jumped into the spirit of it. The pain of simply thinking about her s
liced through him and he vowed not to do that again. “No one warned me about having to work twice as hard to catch up on the work I didn’t get to while I was gone.”

  That was mostly true. Work here at home had piled up. And now it was time to turn the conversation away from himself. He took one of the empty chairs, and the other two sat down again.

  “You two look great.” His brothers radiated calm and happiness, Cal noticed. He was pretty sure they wouldn’t see that in him.

  “Life is good,” Linc said.

  “How’s Rose? Surely your wife has seen the error of her ways and wants that divorce, after all.” Cal hoped his tone conveyed that he was joking. His downer mood made it hard to tell if he pulled it off.

  “No.” His brother didn’t rise to the bait. “I would cut off my right arm to make her happy.”

  “Wow.” Cal nodded and met his older brother’s gaze. “And Faith? Is she regretting her decision to marry you yet?”

  “Well, she leaves me notes all the time, on the little cards that go out with her flower arrangements. This morning I got one that said, ‘Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet and I can’t wait for tonight.’”

  “That doesn’t rhyme,” Cal pointed out.

  His brother smiled, the look of a happy and satisfied man. “It doesn’t have to. I got the message.”

  “We are lucky men,” Linc said.

  “Amen to that.” Sam looked toward the bar and raised his hand. “There’s Delanie. Let’s get this reunion started.”

  The curvy, auburn-haired bar owner walked over to the table. “Be still my heart. I swear three such good-looking men make my knees go weak.”

  “Linc and I are already taken. Sorry, Delanie.” Sam didn’t look sorry at all. “But Cal isn’t spoken for yet.”

  Cal knew Sam was kidding, but it didn’t change the frustration and anger coursing through him. A rush of conflicting emotions made him want to pop his brother, but a move like that would generate a lot of questions that he didn’t want to answer.

  Cal smiled his most charming smile at the bar owner. “I am happily single and wear it with pride.”